ACL Surgery

Surgery is over and done with... now I'm on the healing stages.  I have been off crutches for two days.  I hobble around like a drunk person.  But I WILL be back... and blirpees you'd better look out b/c I'm going to be kicking some butt.  I'm thinking about looking for a mini to sign up for come late spring.  That way I'll have a goal.  But I am going to wait for a date to know WHEN I can return then start scheduling from there... Lord I hope it's soon b/c my diet has NOT been working with me... 

Totally sad

So the news on my knee.  I have torn my ACL.  An injury when football players get it takes them out for the entire season :(  I am more then bummed and I'm feeling really discouraged.  I feel like I was doing everything well and then one stupid thing and now I'm going to have to start all over again.  I asked the doctor what kind of time frame are we looking and he goes "several months" before I can return to regular activities.  Truly sucky!  I talked to my trainer last night and she is offering words of encouragement and telling me that when I'm cleared that she will work with me and get me back to where I was before.  She said to really concentrate on the diet part of my weight loss and just that in check.   So portion everything.  I am not so good at that Vern.  I have to admit I HATE DIETING.  Just the sound of the word diet and I give up.  I had the motivation to do it now and I'm now on hold.  It's crappy.  But I guess I've had many opportunities before this to get myself into shape and should have taken advantage of that time before hand.  However I didn't so this is where I am; frustrated and discouraged!  I really wanted to change my life and my weight and now I'll have to start back in square one.  I have a feeling the weight is going to creep back on and I'll be starting all over but I will do my best to not gain during this part of my down time, but I don't it will be difficult.  So updates soon to come I'm sure. 

Seriously!

I'm thinking that I'm not supposed to be skinny after all... or even healthy.  I blow out my knee really? 

Seriously I'm going to take this personal now.  I am going to get this recovery period down to almost nothing.  I talked to my trainer and she said that she can still get me working on my stuff I just have to be More creative.  :(  Seriously.  Damn Trampoline!!!

Exercise – Diet what the heck are those things?

Okay so I don’t do the diet thing.  I have said that before even counting calories I hate.  But I do take notice of what I’m eating and make appoint to have smaller portions and I skip my normal eats.  I mean I have done the dieting thing so much I have a pretty good handle on what I can eat and can’t.  I mean I have been having breakfast every morning and everything which I know helps with weight loss.  I mean if there was a quiz on how to lose weight I would pass.  Now actually LOSING weight that’s the difficult part.  I’m educated on HOW to do it, it’s just doing it that’s a totally different story. 

 

So This week I have taken a big giant step backwards.  My exercising was down to a major minimal.  I skipped Saturday (that was my normal day of rest)  Sunday I was sick and Monday I still wasn’t feeling good so I skipped.  Tuesday however we got switched from our normal workout day b/c Tait is farther south in Indy this week so he wasn’t able to get back in time to work out and I really like working out with him.  So we are doubling up next week, but the mean time it meant I could sit at home and do nothing!  We did take a walk and took the kids to the park but I did more sitting rather than walking.  Wednesday I DID work out.  I ran 2 miles so I was excited about that!  Thursday NOTHING.  And tonight probably nothing as I didn’t get up this morning and our evening is pretty booked.   So sucky.  On the scale I was down two lbs, but last week I was a workout maniac.  So that means next week as I’m getting back on track I will be frustrated.  FREAKING MOUNTAIN why must you be sooooo big! 

 

So I’m going to stay positive or at least try and stay positive and get back on for Saturday and Sunday and resume my work out schedule.  I’m behind one day on Couch to 5 K b/c I only have 3 days to do it and I can’t get those fit in before my next “week” begins.  So not really BEHIND but not on schedule either. 

 

Dang… 

 Week 5  - Down 2 lbs

So it’s official

I HATE THE SCALE!  I know I’m only 4 weeks in and I could throw the thing out the window.  I am seriously it’s so depressing getting on the damn thing only to have it be up or the same from the previous week!  I HATE IT!  I mean this is hard enough why is the scale not cooperating, I don’t need something else not to motivate myself.  I mean doesn’t the sweat that I am shedding while I’m working out count for anything!    

 

So Tait was telling me this week as I was pi$$y after getting off the scale mid-week.  That that doctor told his coworker that with weight loss it’s not unusually to have a week loss – a week gain/stay the same – a week loss… he said it’s b/c when you lose weight the fat goes away but your body “holds that spot” with water and it will gradually go away as your body tightens up… which I’m assuming is a week’s progress.  Which helps a little… but seriously.  It’s frustrating!!!!  I just want the stuff to come off. 

 

If you look at the pictures there is some difference… I wore a different shirt to show my waist line which I think is more motivation…  But my side profile…  I have some way to go.  But I also have a picture of me working out… that I didn’t know my trainer was taking… she sucks!  But I do call her Satan on Facebook so it’s fine. 

 

That’s all I got for now…

 

Week 4

 

Mid - Week Check

 

So I got on the scale to see how I was doing… and I have to say I was VERY disappointed.  I’m hoping it’s just water but I was back UP 2 LBS!!!  It could have been my all carb weekend but either way it SUCKS. I am trying very hard not to be disheartened but man it truly sucks… epically when I’m SWEATING working out and just tired b/c I’m trying… and blah… but on a positive spin this is ONLY mid week!  I still have a few more days to go… maybe I’ll get it back off…  (sigh)  I tried to get up this morning to excerise and my body was like NOPE I don’t think so.  So I stayed asleep instead of getting up… that means Saturday is NOT A FREE DAY this week!  B/c tonight we are going to be going, going, going.  I need to excersie but I know just by what we have so much going on tonight that it’s just not going to happen… but I don’t know. 

So what does 11 lbs lost look like!  This is what it looks like.  So we are now at 11 lbs.  Almost 12 but I didn’t want to include the ½.  I just wanted to get the pictures up. 

 

Week 3

 

Week 3

Also I brought the treadmill in from the porch so now I can do Couch to 5K again and then move on to Bridge to 10 K again.  It’s only 3 days a week so that will mean I get to do the other 2 routines on the other days J  Love it! 

 

Again my clothes are starting to get looser but nothing like… wow I have to get new ones.  I did get new SHOES I’m so super excited about it, I can’t even tell you!  My other shoes you could see my socks J 

 

Any who that’s my update and great news for today!

Week 3

So I got on the scale early this week, I know I know I said I wasn’t going to get on until Friday… but I did… and the verdict is I lost 2 more lbs!  So I’m down unofficially 10 lbs.  Not too shabby in 3 weeks.  I still have a way to go I know and I’ll take my picture on Friday… who knows that’s in another couple of days maybe I’ll be down another pound or so.  That would be fabulous but if not… that’s okay too because 10 lbs is still 10 lbs that’s a pretty good victory.  If I can just keep it UP!  Who knows what I could be down if I wouldn’t have lost it this weekend, but we are looking forward not backwards ;) 

 

I did stop entering food into Lose It.  I know I know but here’s the problem.  When I enter the information into Lose it!  That gives me “extra calories” so what I do is I over eat b/c I eat through the extra calories and that isn’t going to work.  So here’s my plan.  I’m going to create a new exercise tab through Lose It where it will record my calories but it won’t deduct my exercise calories b/c I still want to make note when I exercise I just don’t want to overdo my calories b/c I have “extra”  I need to keep my budget down.  I find when I am doing that I do really well and really lose weight it’s when I’m like ‘oh I can eat that chocolate cake b/c I exercised” that’s when I get into trouble.  I’m not saying that  I NEVER have a piece of chocolate cake, I’m just saying that I can’t justify my cake just b/c I exercised. 

 

I also have a tangible goal in mind as well.  I would like to have a regular sized towel fit around myself…  I have big towels that will go around me and close, but I can’t get normal towels to fit around me with it gapping a LOT.  So that’s my tangible goal.  I have noticed my clothes (my garments especially) feeling looser.  Not like “oh my gosh I need more clothes” but not as “tight” as they could be.  It’s all about the baby steps.  It’s going to take a while to change my life and I have to keep that in mind, but it’s hard. 

 

I have to keep an eye on the prize and continue to work out at least 5 times  to 6 times per week, but I haven’t hit the 6^th time yet but I’m a working progress.  I have a new routine that we learned last night with Abbey that I was able to write it all down and we will do that tonight.  I have to say today I’m not NEAR as sore as I was the last couple of weeks which is GREAT.  Small victories!  I have also found when I work out every day when I go with Abbey I’m not near as weak.  I feel REALLY weak when I’m working out with her, but I am able to push myself more and do more.  It’s kind of fun… but fun in a not so crazy oh my gosh I LOVE working out but it’s good to see my body changing and get more endurance.  I can’t wait until I get to the point where I get more and more and have to add weights b/c I’m getting SOOOO STRONG.  Yeah Yeah I know J 

 

So another update will come with my Official Weigh in and picture on Friday J  We will see if we have any change J

Oink Oink!

Okay so I know it’s harsh but mercy sakes….

 

This weekend I went over and beyond my calories all weekend from Friday – Sunday I didn’t stop eating.  It’s horrible b/c I know that I SHOULDN’T have done it.  And then to top it off I didn’t exercise either Saturday or Sunday.  Can you say lazy lazy sisters crazy!  I don’t really have a reason for that on Saturday besides I just got busy and didn’t get up in morning.  I did walk around the garage sales but truly not enough calorie burning to even log.  Then on top of that on Sunday I didn’t work out either!!!  I was at a family reunion and I just was too tired and I didn’t feel like taking a shower after working out… how lazy is THAT!  I did chase the kids around the pool for about two hours but still!  I don’t know I couldn’t get into working out this weekend!!!  And the food just kept a shoveling in like I was starving or something. 

 

It’s horrible!  I have to get back on track!  So today I am doing much better already.  I had a fruit salad from freshly cut strawberries, cuties, and blueberries for breakfast.  And COFFEE.  Then I had a green salad for lunch.  MUCH MUCH better.  I’m also trying to get my water in.  I will be working out as I’m supposed this evening.  I wanted to get up this morning, but that wasn’t going to happen.  I’m just really tired in the morning and I know that getting up I won’t do it.  But I usually will work out in the afternoon after work.  I guess I’m just learning myself more and more as I get older.

 

I am not going to get on the scale until my official weigh in on Saturday.  Mainly b/c I know that if I get on the scale today and find that I gained it will be really hard to stay motivated this week b/c I will be disappointed even though I kind of did it to myself as I ate like a crazy person all weekend J

 

I guess all I can say is I will do better this week.  Getting back on track and keeping my mouth SHUT!  That’s the kicker, so far the day has been good J

Weight loss Update

So I’m down 8 lbs.  My official weigh – in is tomorrow but I know that’s what I’m down so I thought that I would just publish it.  I have been working like an animal.  On Thursday I was sooooo stiff I kept falling asleep all day.  So I have to keep working out at night b/c it makes me tired and I don’t want to be THAT tired at work.  Once I took a nap however I felt WORLDS BETTER.  I wasn’t as stiff either.  So I’m glad that my body is finally getting the workout it needs.  I have to say that this is probably the hardest that I have ever worked out when I exercise.  I pour sweat!  Which when I was doing couch to 5 K I would sweat like a fool, but this is EVERY time.  So I know it’s working.  I mean 8 lbs. in two weeks isn’t bad.  My routine takes about 40 minutes total so it’s not really even too bad as far as time either it just makes me REALLY tired. 

 

By far the worst part about trying to lose weight is the diet.  I HATE dieting and I’m not even calling this dieting.   I’m calling it tracking my calories b/c honestly I can eat whatever the hell I want, I just have to be responsible for it and when I’m out of calories I’m OUT of eating.  I have gone to bed b/c I’m hungry and I don’t want to eat.  It just sucks.  I mean I only get 1370 calories per day and when you start breaking it down it isn’t very much.   I love my coffee in the morning and that’s a MAJOR issue b/c it’s like 150 calories once I add creamer and when I’m counting calories I’m like, do I NEED this… and my tired body goes… yep yep you need to wake up in the morning… but it’s as much calories as a can of coke…  damn creamer.  But your soooooo good.  I have tired the 0 calorie coffee flavoring and it’s “okay” but it kind of adds a strange taste to it, so I’m working through that.  But that would help b/c it’s just empty calories… I hate that…  It’s all about the choices.  But at least I’m working out so maybe my body will work it off…  at least I hope!

 

When we were working out this last week we did a totally different routine and let me tell you I’m WEAK.  I’m trying to really stay positive but mercy sakes when you are supposed to do pull ups and it feels like you have bricks tied to your feet… it makes me a little sad.  I hate that I feel the way I do and have NO energy to play with the kids or want to take them to the park so I am working on changing.  It’s just a mountain to climb.  It feels SOOOOOOO far away.  I keep trying to think about all the things I will be able to say that I did once I do lose the weight but trying to stay positive is a struggle.  It’s like in my mind I’m like ‘how did I let myself get to this point’ and then at the other side I’m like ‘okay dude get it together b/c your clothes are WAY too tight.’ I know it’s about baby steps and it’s about changing my life.  Not an easy feat and I don’t want to be too hard on myself b/c that won’t get me to my goal.  I still want my clothes to start feeling really big when I put them on.  I love that feeling but I’m not to that point.  Dang it.  I know I know it’s ONLY BEEN TWO WEEKS.  But I’ve lost 8 lbs. you’d think… but it’s all stuff that has to come and it didn’t take over night to get here.  It’s tough truly tough.  I want to do this for Lehna though.  I mean I want to  do this for myself but I truly need to do this for Lehna.  I need to show her that it’s possible to be healthy and set the example to her.  But any who… 

 

I thought maybe I could take pictures… of my GRADUAL change… LOL  there isn’t much of a change

Jan 2013

This is Week 2 (this is a new idea for me so I didn't take pictures week 1)

The Start of something… I don’t know if it’s beautiful but it’s something

Okay so I started training and working out and getting back on track with calories. 

 

The training KICKED MY BUTT.  I think Abbey was trying to kill me (just kidding I know she wasn’t).  But I worked hard on Tuesday!  By Tuesday night I was soooooo sore!  I couldn’t even move… but Wednesday I worked out again!  And I was even WORSE but you know by Friday night or Saturday I was way better.  So it took me a couple of days, but I’m feeling better now as I walk and stretch.  I think that stretching is the best thing I could ever do for myself b/c after I stretched and stretched… my body was sooooo much better.  I know that sounds simple and I don’t mean it simply but I had to stretch a lot to make my body not hurt. 

 

But I have done well of the past week.  I took my day of rest on Friday and man I went WAY overboard with eating and not exercising.  BUT I still lost 5 lbs so it was okay right? 

 

So I’m going to do better this week and not go so crazy on my day of rest.  I’m working out 6 days a week.  Unfortunately my body is going to need that much work to get it looking gooooood and I want to look gooooood. 

 

The best part about me working out is actually getting the kids involved as well.  Lehna has really stepped up and wanted to do the same things I have been doing.  She chickened out on me Tuesday and didn’t go work out with me, but she did work out with me Wednesday and she has been exercising with me when I work out the other days, so it’s good. 

 

We went on a bike ride on Thursday and it was solo hot we were sticky and smelly so we all showered and were April fresh once again.  Then on Sunday day we all went for a family bike ride.  We only rode 3 miles but it was a hard 3 miles.  I have Nikolai attached to my bike so I have an extra 60 lbs that I’m dragging along with me so it was challenging.  The girls and Tait had WAY more energy than I had but it was okay.  I felt like both ways were up hill… however that’s possible. 

 

Tonight the plan is to do my routine again.  I want Tait to join in with me but he may just wait until he meets Abbey tomorrow…  LOL  He is going to doing the personal training with us as well so that will be good for him as well. 

 

I definitely have a goal in mind.  Right now I’m 77 lbs away from my goal.  It’s a bit a way BUT I have to start SOMEWHERE and the best part is I’m not in the 100 range I’m still in the two digits, so that’s a motivation… and I don’t WANT to get in the 3 digits so time to take some names. 

 

I started lose it again, b/c what’s exercise without watching your calories.   It’s really an easy program to follow and It is quite shocking to see just how much that food that you are ingesting really counts.  So It’s all good.  Abbey is really going to help me change my life.  I’m excited.  She was able to lose over 150 lbs so  I know she has been through it and I know I can get through it.  If I lose 70 lbs Tait has promised to take me back to Mexico so that’s the goal I’m working towards.  I can do it!  Come on body and work with me here! 

Postponed and numbers blahhhhhh

Okay so my weight loss is kind of not really happening yet.  Actually I was supposed to start this week, but there was an unexpected death in my trainer’s family so that made for some changes to our schedule.

 

So I did go in and went for all of my measurements… all I have to say is YIKES!  But as Abbi was saying this is JUST MY STARTING POINT.  I am not as heavy as I was when I was pregnant with Nikolai, I’m still 15 pounds under that… but…  that’s it… just 15 lbs.  She was going to tell me what my weight would be if I had NO body fat, which is totally NOT healthy but she is going to tell me and then we can get a goal together…  she said her goal was like 138 and she said that it NOT healthy and that a woman’s body fat should be around 18% which mine is NO WHERE NEAR that but I told her it’s a goal and I’m ready to start working towards it.   So we will be starting to work on this next week since we were postponed for a week. 

 

I’m excited J 

 

Wish me luck!

A major change

So I'm getting all my stuff ready to go.  I still have my appointment with my personal trainer for next week!  Super excited I have to set up a time to meet with her to sign papers and have her do measurments!!!! LORD HELP ME>... that will suck but I HAVE to do something...

A Change

So It's real time.  I am going to change my life.  I am going to take baby steps and get there.  One baby step at a time.  Not only will I set and example for my children, but I will also be showing those around me AND myself that I'm worth it.  I can change my life I can make things better for myself.  I want to use this journel as an outlet to show that I can DO IT!  I'm WORTH IT! 

I hired a personal trainer.  She is going to start working with me June 11th.  I am going to change my life.  She is going to help me set into motion the things I need to do to make my life better.  It's an exciting time.  So prepare to be real.  I want to post things that will help me, my frustrations, goals, successes, and failures.  Wait a minute there will be NO FAILURES.  ONLY SUCCESS HERE PEOPLE! 

So measurements will follow soon.  YIKES THE REAL NUMBERS!  But you know I didn't get this way over night... and I don't want to have surgery.  I want to do this the real way.  It's going to be challenging and I'm going to struggle, but I also know that I'm going to do it. 

So stay tuned!